i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
