He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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