dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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