i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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