I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize