I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
