A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
