He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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