Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
