so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
