time to smoke my breakfast
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
