I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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