Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
