So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he puts the penis in happiness.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
