i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
