Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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