he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
