Screwed.edu
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Randomize
