If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
