Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
