I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
