just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
