we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
