he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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