i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
