Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
