i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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