Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
