your thong is hanging out like whoa
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
