Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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