Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
