hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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