There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Randomize
