I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
