worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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