some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
