walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
