they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
