It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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