I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
