Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
