Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He did a backflip because drugs
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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