I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
