I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I supernannyed him into submission
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
