yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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