Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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