A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Why can't burritos get me drunk
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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