im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
now i know why i became what i already was.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I need water and some morals
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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