hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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