i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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