I puked a lego.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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