First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
