She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
They took my balls.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
