Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize