He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
