Do you still have your period?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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