hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
