i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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