I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
